| |
Is Wonder Woman Sexy?
Where has our Sex Drive Gone?
Anyone who was alive during the 1960s will remember that decade as a time of great sexual liberation. Free love was the catch-cry of a whole generation who participated greedily and lustily in a sexual revolution, one which signalled that women have sexual needs too. In the fight for equality, these sexual needs had been brushed aside while women climbed the corporate ladder and strived for equal pay, equal opportunity and equal rights. Exhausting stuff!
In gaining more equality, many other things have suffered or changed. Many women are now all things to all people at the expense of themselves. Combine this with a plethora of modern lifestyle factors such as unhealthy diets, bad habits (smoking, drinking, consumption of caffeine and other drugs), environmental pollution (from chemicals such as hormone disruptors, heavy metals and the ubiquitous electromagnetic radiation), lack of exercise and finally mental and emotional stress, and it’s no wonder your libido is running on empty.
While it’s easy to appreciate that these lifestyle factors have a negative impact on your long-term health, what is less widely recognised is their effect on your sexual health. Like mental health, many people put sexual health on the ‘taboo’ list of discussion topics. But just as mental health problems are reaching epidemic proportions (with depression likely to become the second biggest cause of disability after heart disease), the incidence of sexual health problems is also alarmingly high. At least more women are now starting to break the rule of ‘don’t kiss and tell’ and bring the issue to the table… or the bed!
The number of people suffering sexual dysfunction will increase as our population ages. There are many women - at menopause, after hysterectomy, after childbirth and breastfeeding, when stressed, tired and overworked, or when taking oral contraceptives, antidepressants or other libido-lowering drugs - who would benefit from improvement in a function that is fundamental to their overall health and wellbeing.
According to Dr Rosie King of the Australian Centre for Sexual Health in Sydney, "The importance of sexual health to overall health is often overlooked by individuals, health care professionals and by society in general to the detriment of all. We can no longer dismiss the impact that sexual health has on a person’s overall wellbeing. It’s as important as diet and exercise."
Sex Studies
A study published in the Journal of the American Medical Association found that the majority of couples are dissatisfied with their sex life. More specifically, seven years into marriage, three-quarters of those surveyed said they might consider straying. Furthermore, couples seldom discuss their sexual desires, with fewer than half the women surveyed discussing their sex life with their partners or telling them what turns them on. In a further study published in the New England Journal of Medicine, 48% of women reported that they sometimes had difficulty becoming aroused, 46% reported intermittent difficulties in reaching orgasm and 15% were completely unable to have an orgasm.
In a study of 3,000 men and women by the University of Chicago, it was revealed that 43% of women and 31% of men said they persistently experienced one or more of the following problems:
-
lacked interest in sex
-
had trouble getting aroused
-
could not have an orgasm
-
climaxed too quickly
-
felt pain during intercourse
-
did not find sex pleasurable
-
worried about their performance
Among other findings from this study:
-
22-28% of women in different age categories said they were unable to achieve orgasm during sex
-
32% of women aged 18-30 said they lacked interest in sex
-
The percentage of men who had trouble maintaining or achieving an erection was 7% of men aged 18-29, 9% of men in their 30s, 11% of men in their 40s and 18% of men in their 50s.
-
The percentage of women who had trouble becoming aroused was 19% of women aged 18-39, 21% of women in their 40s and 27% of women in their 50s.
Even among older people, most men and women say a satisfying sexual relationship is important to their quality of life. The American Association of Retired Persons found that 67% of older men, and 57% of older women, say a sexually satisfying relationship is very important to them.
How Do We Get it Back?
Although poor sexual health is very common, affecting four in ten women, it is not normal, so don’t sit back and suffer in silence. First of all, look at the state of your overall health and ways you can improve it - eat a healthy diet, reduce drinking, stop smoking, get more exercise, don’t let yourself get so stressed, cut down on caffeine and take time out for yourself. All these things will improve your overall health and will reduce the factors that result in poor sexual health.
To do any of these is often easier said than done, so it is likely that you will need to seek the right advice from the right people. You may need to take on a life coach or a personal trainer to address your weak spots or consult your doctor or naturopath for specific medical advice.
It is obviously also essential that you discuss your feelings and desires with your partner and get down to the basics of what you like and don’t like. One of the biggest barriers to good sex is bad communication, so you both need to be as open as possible about your feelings. Most men enjoy sex far more when they know their partner is enjoying it just as much, so don’t think he doesn’t care about what you have to say.
If you cannot satisfactorily resolve your issues together, or if either of you are too uncomfortable saying exactly what you mean, you may need to consult a sexual counsellor or therapist to help the process along. Ask your doctor for a referral or look in the Yellow Pages under Counselling.
According to sexologist Shere Hite, lack of orgasm during coitus is "the crucial and common underlying reason why many women become disenchanted and uninterested in sex." And yet these same women can have orgasms during masturbation and "only rarely, in 2% of cases, does this involve vaginal penetration". She concludes that "sex should be composed not only of coitus but also of clitoral stimulation, by hand or mouth."
What’s on Offer?
We’ve all heard of the phenomenal success that Viagra has been for men with problems getting sexually aroused. Global prescriptions for Viagra are now written every four seconds, making it the most prescribed drug ever, and making a fortune for its manufacturer, Pfizer. But what is available for women?
Livus, a company from Silicon Valley in California, is now conducting trials on three products that are the front runners in the next generation of ‘bedroom drugs’. One of these drugs is designed to treat sufferers of ‘female sexual arousal disorder’ and is expected to be available within three years.
While Livus and manufacturing giants such as Pfizer continue their search for the ‘Pink Viagra’, a number of natural products for women are available now in most parts of the world. One of these, WomanZone, is the brainchild of a New Zealand medical researcher and a herbalist, both of whom had been working on the formulation of topical creams and gels to increase pleasure during sexual activity. Prompted by the large number of women reporting some degree of sexual dysfunction or dissatisfaction, a totally natural product was formulated. It is applied to the clitoris prior to (and if required during) sexual activity. Women who suffer from persistently low libido find daily use an effective remedy.
WomanZone contains L-Arginine, menthol, sodium benzoate and sodium chloride in a herbal base containing mixed extracts of Aloe Vera, Clary Sage, Damiana, Echinacea, Muira Puama, Prickly Ash, Sarsaparilla, Xanthan Gum, hydroxy ethyl cellulose and Licorice. Menthol promotes the absorption of L-Arginine, a precursor to nitric oxide, which is responsible for vasodilation and clitoral engorgement. In English, this means increased blood flow to the clitoris, making it more sensitive. The synergistic blend of herbs further enhances arousal. WomanZone will soon be available in Australia, but in the meantime visit www.womanzone.org for further details.
You Don’t Need to be Wonder Woman
Once you accept that you can’t be everything to everyone, and you get some more balance back in your life, your energy levels will grow and your libido will grow with it. If you need help, seek it. And above all, be honest with yourself and your partner in discussing what you need. Don’t feel you need to be Wonder Woman. She was fictitious anyway!
Jan Roberts is co-author of the series: The Natural Way to Better Babies (1996), The Natural Way to Better Pregnancy (1999), The Natural Way to Better Birth & Bonding (2001) and The Natural Way to Better Breastfeeding (2002), all published by Random House.
|
